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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Power of a "Thank You"

I’m often amazed at how quickly a person can ask for something but then forget to say ‘thank you’. I’m sure I’ve been guilty in the past but sometimes, when someone goes out of their way, a note of thanks is the very least to be expected.

In this day and age everyone seems to stay in a rush. It’s hard to remember to do everything we need to do but to offer gratitude, just a simple ‘thank you’ shouldn’t be something we have to add to a list of things to-do. Sometimes, it is.

I’ve noticed this more and more. Maybe it’s because I’m online so much and I often see acts of kindness but nothing to indicate the person received a thank you. Then there are those who ask for something in particular and when they receive what they’ve asked for, they simply forget to say ‘thanks’. Is it because we’re so rushed as a society that one or two little words are now forgotten or is it because it is more or less ‘understood’ and unnecessary?

My daughter has a boyfriend and I see him a lot. He’s a super kid. He’s actually the reason I’m blogging on this topic this morning. He picks my daughter up for school and he always thanks me for breakfast or whatever I put in his hand, whether it’s juice or a bottle of water. Sometimes, he even thanks me twice for the little things—and maybe there’s the problem. After spending time with such a polite young man, I now notice how often gratitude is placed to the wayside.

A few months ago, I experienced a situation where someone asked several authors to cover for her in an online forum-situation because she wasn’t able to be there for a planned event. I went out of my way to help even though I really didn’t know the author or her work. In fact, I sent several emails out to my buddies to ask them to stop by and chitty-chat. Several others did as well. Later, one of the authors helping out there asked me if I received a ‘thank you’ for it. I told her ‘no’ but I didn’t expect one. I really didn’t. Her reply was this, “You should’ve gotten one—excluding all expectations.” Maybe she was right.

This brings me to another round of questions. Is gratitude anticipated at all these days? Is it over-rated? Is it implied and others take for granted that they are appreciated? Most of the time, I tend to be in the group where if I do something nice for you, I think you’ll appreciate me and we don’t have to pat each other on the back—turn about is fair play, kind of thing. However, I never want to miss my chance to say ‘thank you’ so if I miss it—bring it to my attention. Maybe I missed a post on a Yahoo loop or maybe you wrote an extraordinary review I didn’t see—tell me about it!

I realize in my particular business it is very difficult to say ‘thank you’ to everyone individually for purchasing my books or attending my chats. I realize writers may miss a post where someone says “great job” or “I loved your book” and in that instance, how can authors better relay appreciation? It’s food for thought, I think. I want to be appreciated whether it is implied or spoken, and I think it’s important my readers, friends and family know how much they’re genuinely treasured and appreciated as well.

My daughter’s boyfriend is one-of-a-kind. He reminds me of one of my brothers—polite and mannerly. He simply never forgets to say ‘thank you’ and it makes me more aware of the fact that it only takes a second to pass along appreciation. On the receiving end, it’s nice to be appreciated and even nicer when someone stops what they’re doing long enough to notice.

Until next time,

Coming to Whispers on August 29th! My most anticipated contemporary romance of the year!

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Savannah Chase said...

i think saying thank you is a wonderful thing...In this day and age people tend to forget to say it...I guess it is just nice to hear....

Kim said...

Ok I am guilty of this. Did this earlier this morning. And I hate it. I will be talking about something and in the back of my mind I will keep saying "don't forget thank you". But then of course I forget to say it.
I was brought up to be very thankful. To appreciate everything because tomorrow could be very different.
I have to constantly remind my kids to say Thank you but I am hoping one day it will just be a automatic response.
I see so many young kids even adults today who don't show any kind of gratitude. And that is so sad.

Kristy Bock said...

Sometimes gratitude is showed instead of said. I tend to believe that if someone didn't say it outright, they'll show it later. Perhaps the author who you did the favor for, will in turn rave about you to someone else, creating a forward movement. I'm such an idealist.

Desirée Lee said...

I saw it last week. I interviewed for a job and afterward, mailed a thank you to the woman who was hiring. She called me back to say she received the letter and offered me the job. That was Friday.

Unfortunately it's not going to work out because there are some other factors that I couldn't figure in until this week, but I know I was not the most qualified applicant. She still offered me the job anyway and I think it was largely in part due to my thank you letter.

I'm back to the drawing board on looking for a job, but at least I know that a little politeness can go a long way.

I too was raised to be polite. It boggles my mind that people don't bother with taking a second to say thanks or please or even I'm sorry. If someone bumps into you on the street, instead of saying sorry they'll often glare as if it's your fault. I don't understand it.

The way I see it, I can't control everybody else's behavior. I can only control mine. I try to lead by example and use my manners. Hopefully it will make enough of an impression for someone to want to do the same. In this case, imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery.

Carpe Noctem,

Desirée Lee
Putting the Romance Back in Necromancy

Crazy Lady said...

Your daughter is very lucky. : ) As a mom to two young girls, I take every opportunity to teach them the best manners I can. I want 'thank you' and 'you're welcome' to be automatic off their lips no matter what the courtesy. Sometimes, as with friends and family, you know they appreciate you even if they forget to say so. Others, you don't always know. My parents were small town Midwesterners and raised us the right way - I hope to do the same. :)

Lisa said...

Hi Destiny,
I think it is the mother that teaches the manner in us and the father some are not tout how to said thank you. Some never been teaches how to say thank you. Some know but it is beneath them to do so. I guess it like other have a hard saying I love you and other throw it so willingly. Just depend on the person and there thoughtfulness in other to say thank you. Just as much in saying I love you to someone you love. Some will never said the were wrong when prove they were wrong. An other will say sorry I'm wrong.

Destiny Blaine said...

Hey Everyone!

Thanks for stopping by to comment! You rock! :))


Katie Bug said...

I was taught to say please and thank you so I made sure my kids did too. Living in the south now it is more so I think. You address woman as Miss and men as Mister or yes maam no maam. It was a hard adjustment for my kids at first but now it is automatic.

I believe that if someone has done something even if it is a small thing, you should say thank you. it doesn't take much time to do it plus it makes that person feel good about taking the time.

Great blog Destiny.

Welcome to Destiny Blaine's Online Journal

Welcome to Destiny Blaine's Online Journal
"An Award Winning Bestselling International E-book and Paperback Author, Destiny Blaine and her pseudonyms top the charts at Amazon, Bookstrand, Barnes and Noble, ARE, Mobipocket, and other retailers online and off. Scroll down for a list of available titles, works in progress, and coming soon dates for debut titles.”

Author Bio

An award-winning, international bestselling erotic romance author, Destiny Blaine writes under several pen names. She lives in East Tennessee and spends a lot of time in Connecticut and Virginia, where her granddoll resides.