Anyway, it's been one of those trips, actually. Within hours of arriving at the farm, I fell off the porch and into some shrubs. No, I wasn’t drunk.
My brother received word of the tumble from the farm staff. Immediately, he called to ask if I hurt the bushes.
He wasn’t kidding.
A lot of money went into his landscaping and he really wanted to know about his shrubs. I could’ve strung him up by his ankles.
Things kind of went downhill from there. The vampire dog episode happened two days ago when “Dooter” attacked “Rowdy” for an oatmeal cake. Rowdy is the “King Dog” around here. I mean, if you think Elvis grabbed attention when he entered a building, you “aint’ seen nothin’ yet” as we say down here on the farm. Even folks around Lewisburg know Rowdy by name, but back to the story.
Rowdy’s life was in danger. I attempted to rescue the aging—and quite precious—Australian Shepherd.
After Dooter sank his fangs into my lower leg, Toby (my little angel pictured below) attacked Dooter from his elevated position. During all this drama, Kiki, the family cat darted outside and hid until the wee hours of the morning when I finally realized we were one animal short.
There was a reason why I realized we were one animal short.
The vampire dog kindly alerted one and all --mainly the other dogs--of the fact at two in the morning. With his gnarling and snapping fangs, you’d better believe I rose from the bed and darted outside to see what was the matter. He was apparently concerned about Kiki due to the gathering of hounds below the tree where Kiki was perched.
Needless to say with all the large dogs on the property, Kiki was seemingly relieved when I rescued her from a nearby tree. Yes, I had to climb the darn thing in the middle of the night. Thank goodness the branches were low.
Considering my luck and the fact I was already wearing several bandages, I couldn’t help but think, “If I fall, I’m doomed. No one will hear me when I scream. I don’t even have my cell phone on me. To make matters worse, there are probably coyotes out here… Coyotes and maybe even bears, or black panthers and maybe even lions.”
What can I say, the imagination kind of ran wild. I’ve been watching too many scary movies and writing far too many paranormals in recent weeks.
To add insult to my numerous injuries, the next morning, my brother called for a farm report. I explained about the gaping wound in my leg and how the vampire dog had nearly killed Rowdy.
He took a deep breath and calmly asked, “Susan, what did you do to my dog? Dooter doesn’t bite.”
Well, I have a chunk missing from my leg to prove otherwise. Now, I’m grating back curse words and contemplating digging up those dang bushes he cares so much about! ;)
More news from the farm later….
Happy Fourth of July!
Toby AKA The REAL hero in this story
Dooter, AKA The Vampire Dog